Elizabeth is scheduled to be released from the hospital Friday.
Our six year anniversary is Saturday.
I plan to eat a four foot long Italian sub and sleep for three days. Your sixth anniversary is salami, right?
Chloe has been a total nutjob psychopath tonight. I had to postpone my own dinner to deal with Her Highness. So here I am at the end of my day, choking down a $1 frozen pizza with one hand. You know its horrible when “Real cheese taste!” is an advertising point. With my other hand I am sautéing chicken breasts in olive oil, garlic, and cherry tomatoes for Baby Lunch.
If that rotten little rug rat doesn’t eat her lunch tomorrow… Grrr!
*update: She didn’t eat the chicken
Life is pretty surreal these days. Yesterday I thought I had maxed out on weird when I saw a pig with a bright green blinking collar munching the lawn of one of my neighbors while taking Chloe out for a stroller ride. That pig was nothing...
Tonight while taking Chloe to visit Elizabeth in the hospital, the baby had a big poop bomb go off in her pants. I used some hospital towels and wash cloths to clean the room, couch, stroller, and myself before heading out to the car. I got the diaper bag and hoped the men's room had a changing table. It did. All of Chloe's clothes had some, not insignificant, amount of poop on them. I removed them and stuffed them into a bag and began cleaning the baby. Chloe giggled the whole time and "helped" (usually by wiping herself and then trying to eat it).
I just wrapping her butt in a new diaper when another man entered the restroom. He wore a black suit with a white collar; One of the hospital chaplains.
Now, you think I type a lot, you should hear me chatter away to the baby. Have you seen that commercial with the woman putting pants on her head in the laundromat to teach her child? That's me. I'm faintly aware of the chaplain laughing while peeing in the back stall from out shtick.
"How old," he asks.
"Ha! It only gets worse from here."
Inspirational. I laugh. I always try to laugh. I apologize to Chloe for diaper (eliciting another round of laughter from the chaplain) and make my way out the door. I weave the stroller around a white van that is blocking our path. The window rolls down and a red haired woman's head pops out. She looks at the diapered baby in the stroller.
"Isn't she cold?" she asks.
Huh? Wha? Duh!
My response at the time was nearly as elegant: "Well, you see, there was this big PFFFFT! and..." I shrugged. I didn't know what else to say. I rolled the baby back to the car and put a jacket on her I had brought. I knew it might be cold tonight. I drove us home with Chloe kicking my chair and laughing the whole way. The whole trip I could only repeat that one question. "Isn't she cold? Isn't she cold! ISN"T SHE COLD?!"
When we arrived at home I skipped the changing table and just stripped Chloe for her bath while she stood there. There was one problem: There was still a very good chance I had more poop on my clothes. Wouldn't do much good to dry off a clean baby while covered in poop myself. I sighed and went to the bedroom and removed my shirt and pants. Chloe grabbed a mylar balloon labeled "Get Well Soon" and began waving it. She then saw my legs. Chloe finds it hysterical that I have hair on my legs. She begins pointing and laughing.
Soon I am standing there in my underwear while a naked baby parades around me pointing, laughing, and waving a balloon.
I have officially Jumped The Pig.
...and a man of God told me it was only going to get worse.
You know I’d normally be all over this, but circumstances are.. you know. Here’s an article from CrunchGear: How Much Money Does It Take To Kill Net Neutrality?
Chloe asked a lot about Grandma today. I let her talk on the phone to her for a while. While I was cleaning up dinner, I saw her in the Forbidden Chair trying to work the phone. Oddly enough, she found the redial button and was calling back. I had to hang it up for her. Elizabeth couldn’t talk anymore due to a coughing fit earlier. I managed to distract her for the rest of the evening.
After reading our bedtime books, she wanted to see the computer. I let her up in the chair so we could take our blog picture. When looking at the video capture, she seemed to have an idea. Chloe remembered we could video conference. I tried to pacify her by putting a still picture up, but she wasn’t buying it. I told her we would see her soon.
Its… upsetting. All the more so with DCF circumstances being what they are.
Tune in next time for more all new Growing Up Otaku – The Final Chapter
Chloe is going "home". Her biological parent's home. Well, it's not even their home because they've just been mooching. After a few months of visitation, it is all over.
And You May Find Yourself Living In A Shotgun Shack
And You May Find Yourself In Another Part Of The World
And You May Find Yourself Behind The Wheel Of A Large Automobile
And You May Find Yourself In A Beautiful House, With A Beautiful Wife
And You May Ask Yourself-Well...How Did I Get Here?
Once In A Lifetime
*edit* Just in case you are passing through today, Carl, I wanted you to know that by “not passing judgment” you have allowed my ‘daughter’ to be placed with people who couldn’t be bothered to see her more than twice during her second year of life. Also note that I am NOT afraid to pass judgment. If anything happens to that little girl I WILL BLAME YOU.
There has been one thought buzzing around in my head this weekend: I am standing on the edge of losing the family I just spent the last two years learning to accept. Both of ‘em at the same time. It’s big. Epic.
I try not to think about it. Still..
It’s okay. Many animes declare that they are starting the final chapter, drag on for a whole ‘nother season, then close without resolving anything just to release movies later. LOL.
Its been a crap day. Well, actually, it’s been a beautiful day, but I’ve felt down. Elizabeth is pretty fatalistic on even the best of days, so you can imagine what it’s like when she’s feeling whiney.
I’m used to not getting around to writing down some of the blog articles that I want to, but I’m just not getting to ANY of them now. I’d like to bang on some quickies all at once here:
The Power of Social Networking in the Middle East: I’m sure you’ve seen the articles and news stories by now. What a load of crap! As someone on the virtual front lines of Egypt’s little revolt, all those news stories are garbage. Egypt’s protests were grass-roots and door-to-door. The same thing would’ve happened without ANY of this Internet garbage. Anyone who says differently is simply a liar. And if Egypt didn’t really need the Internet, do you think Iran or Yemen does?
iPad 2: Ooooh, yeah! Apple just hit the reset button on the Tablet Wars. Nothing even comes close to the basic $500 iPad 2. The original iPad was kind of meh (especially for the price), but this thing is a beauty. Except for the crap camera! That just gives them the justification for next year’s redesign. It also may be the first time since the Apple IIe that an Apple device is properly priced and positioned. I am drooling…and thinking about the wife’s credit card in my pocket
Sony v GeoHot: A US court let Sony get a record (IP address) of anyone who visited Hotz’s blog?! Really? REALLY?! You expect Facebook to sell your personal information, but the US justice system?
All Star Wars Moves to be Rereleased in 3D: Duh! Not like Phantom Menace will suck MORE in 3d. I’m in!
Time of Eve: I hope I get around to reviewing this show. This was the ‘art house’ anime I fell in love with back in the ‘90s! Back before it was all moe and shonen, anime used to do a lot of cyberpunk (US writers: Philip K Dick, William Gibson (also Ray Bradbury and Harlan Ellison)) type stuff and reflect upon what it means to be human.
This is suitable for viewing by anyone. It is six 15 minute parts and in its original Japanese with English subtitles. Best of all, you can watch it streaming online for free at Crunchyroll. I’ve copy/pasted the show’s description below:
The future, probably Japan.
Robots have long been put into practical use, and androids have just come into use.
Influenced by the Robot Ethics Committee, it’s become common sense for people to treat androids like household appliances. Their appearance - indistinguishable from humans except for the ring over each android’s head – has lead some people to empathize unnecessarily with androids. Known as “android-holics,” such people have become a social problem.
Rikuo (Jun Fukuyama), a high school student, has been taught from childhood that androids are not to be viewed as humans, and has always used them as convenient tools. One day Rikuo discovers some strange data in the behavior records of his family’s household android.
Rikuo and his friend Masaki (Kenji Nojima) trace Sammy’s (Rie Tanaka) movements, only to discover a mysterious café that features a house rule: “No discrimination between humans and robots ” . . .
Been nagging the Mrs. To get back to the hospital since release. Finally made it. I pulled into the doc's parking lot, went in and told em not to bother. That she needs to go to the hospital. Doc said to tell Liz he said to go. Drove cranky pants right across the street.
Diagnosis? Pneumonia. Bilateral (?) pneumonia.
Seems the cured the pneumonia she came in with,but she caught another type from the hospital. Cute, huh?
This is where I grumble, say something ‘profound’, and then close with a meme no one gets. But I’m tired. Here is a helmet cam vid of a skier falling off a cliff:
He’s fine. And we will be too. LULz!
Ha! Still got it!
Oh, yeah. Nearly forgot. This supposed to be all about MeMeMeMe!
I did, in fact, finally make it to the doctor yesterday. In fact it was Dr.Bill’s receptionist who told me Elizabeth was in the process of being released from the hospital (conveniently located just across the street) I’ve got bronchitis as well. Nothing a little antibiotics can’t fix. Fortunately, Baby Girl has already been on some since being sick last week. The house is nicely sterilized now as well. When the doctors started wearing haz-mat suits, Grandpop started scrubbing. Doctors REALLY shouldn’t watch doctor shows on TV. Freaking drama queens
My back is sore and I am REALLY tired of sending email LOL
I remember getting Chloe out of the car yesterday afternoon.
“Ooo! Look! Bird! Hmm… A lot of birds. Crows.”
They skies over the neighborhood were full of them. You see that zombie crow scene in Resident Evil Movie 3? Yeah. That many.
“Bad omen, Baby Girl.”
4 or 5 DCF calls, emails, and escorts later I still think of the birds. Nothing’s happened (as is par for every DCF contact I’ve even seen), but it sure isn’t something I needed right now. The last one actually got me out of the car when I was on my way to have the doctor check out my little fever problem. Ducky.