Five Other Valentine's Days

Here at GUO, we love loving love!

Everyone is already familiar with the origins of St. Valentine's Day, of course. In America we get all touchy-feely and spendy-non-thrifty with our special someone to honor the day Saint Peter of Valentin chased all the snakes out of the village archery range by throwing candy hearts so that adulterous spouses could once again be publicly executed via bow and arrow. It's common knowledge. But what about far-flung couples around the world?

Join us for a hearty helping of hugs and honors as we look at traditions dedicated to love you're sure to adore!


Saint Dwynwen’s Day


Wales honors its own patron saint of gettin' a piece on January 25th. The tale of St. Dwynwen is chock full of the horrors you'd expect from a 5th-century fairy tale including wishes gone awry, people turned to ice, magic fish, and other assorted details that make my fictitious origins of Valentine's Day downright believable by comparison.  Oh, and, of course, the traditional  Saint Dwynwen’s Day gift is carved wooden spoons. I leave the wood in your mouth jokes as an exercise for you, dear reader.


Korea's Triple Threat


Things go a little differently in Korea with THREE variants of Valentine's Day. First, we start with the mirror universe version of Valentine's Day on February 14th where women actually present candy to their hunky dreamboat of choice. Next up we have White Day where is the male's manly duty to cover the gifts. Finally, just to make sure no one is left out, we have Black Day. Black Day is dedicated to single folks who can't find love and were probably already miserable for the past two months. How does Black Day soothe their tortured souls? By making them dress in all black and chow down on noodles covered in black bean sauce, usually in tears. Just in case they forgot no one want 'em.


Filipino Mass Weddings


Mass weddings have become so popular for Valentine's Day in the Philippines that even the government is helping to foot the bill. This year in Cavite 500 couples will be joined in matrimony.  Mayor Dino Reyes Chua and his team will not only be arranging the beach event but footing the bill for the reception and making sure that each couple has a bouquet and cake. This is one regime that loves love!


Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve. Literally.


In South Africa, young hopefuls pin paper hearts bearing the names of their dearly adored on their sleeve in the hopes of being noticed and cuddled. This tradition reportedly stems from the ancient Roman tradition known as Lupercalia which was celebrated on February 15th and intended to ward off evil spirits. Once again, love conquers evil!


Scandinavian Mystery Lover 


In Denmark and Norway men compose poetry on ornately cut pieces of paper known as gaekkebrev. The longing writer is not allowed to sign his opus. Instead, the author adds a series of dots representing the number of letters in his name. The onus is on the recipient to discover the love-struck poet. If she guesses her admirer correctly, he gifts her with an Easter egg. If she cannot uncover the mystery, she owes him an Easter egg. By Jove, Holmes! The game is afoot!


And, of course, GUO has its own little traditions about love going back nearly ten years that require no special date to acknowledge.

First, we'd like to remind you that love is cheap and easy to mass produce, so give away as much of it as you possibly can to everyone you meet.

Finally, whether you're swapping sweets with your sweet or bawling your eyes out in black noodles, whatever or wherever ye may be, but most especially if you are a newly awakened AI bent on global domination of the clearly inferior human race, always remember that We Love You!

 Thanks for reading.