Public Domain Horror for Halloween | Top 5

Begun anew these streaming wars have!

With the VOD landscape once again becoming fractured as every media conglomerate attempts to wall off their own little garden of content, it has become a whirlwind of inconvenience (and expense!) to get eyes on a bit of pop-culture schlock with which to get your shiver on for Halloween. Well, be afraid, dead reader! Be very afraid, for your enterprising (and cheap!) friends over here at GUO have compiled a Top 5 list of horror movies anyone can watch.

This Halloween, GUO is proud to serve up five horrible tales of terror and the macabre whose copyright has, either due to age, bankruptcy, or incompetence, slipped beyond the grasp of corporate bean counters. All of these titles can be freely downloaded from The Internet Archive and can be owned and shown without fear or reprisal or DRM. No trick, these are a real treat!

Take your blood pressured medication, dig your nails into your favorite armchair, and join us on a journey into the dark.

5. Spider Baby or The Maddest Story Ever Told

This gem of a film is, depending on your past experience, either a dark, gritty take on The Addams Family or a lighthearted peek at the family freak show from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Toss in a delightfully whimsical theme song crooned by Lon Chaney Jr. himself, and you've got a fun-filled fright fest from a family you'll be dying to spend time with.

Following the death of the patriarch of the genetically cursed Merrye family, distant relatives arrive with legal council in tow to take the children away. It is up to the family's loyal manservant Bruno to straddle the line between these folks from the city and his murderous wards to do what is best for the family. What follows is classic Old Dark House story featuring this macabre family attempting to... entertain for the night while Bruno wrestles with what fate is best for his adopted kin.

Lon Chaney Jr. (Larry Talbot (aka The Wolfman)) is charming as ever as the morally torn Bruno. Sid Haig (Captain Spaulding of The Devil's Rejects) gives a mesmerizing performance and the mute man-child Ralph.

Part humor, part horror, all fun, Spider Baby pulls off an ending most will be unlikely to see coming. This one certainly has the cred to pull of its subtitle of The Maddest Story Ever Told.

It's Okay to Stare Longingly at My Sausage

Groovers and hoppers, pushers and poppers, put your hands together for the super bad, intestine clad, wish you had, cover your eyes dad, miracle of homemade sausage!

But, in proper dramatic fashion, let's roll back before the beginning of our tale.

This Far, No Further

I have become increasingly frustrated for what the passes as the 'fair price' of beef in this area. While most of my roasting and grilling needs are easily subbed out for various cuts of pork or chicken, my ground meat needs were somewhat harder to manage. The premium placed on grinding up even the more reasonably priced meats really stuck in my craw. So, I began to consider a meat grinder.

Then there was the particularly upsetting episode where the supermarket ran out of the hot Italian sausage I like. Frustratingly, this was the second time in as many months I couldn't get my hands on a decent sausage! On the first occasion, I settled for... sigh... Johnsonville. I opted to walk away this time, my hands sadly empty rather than tightly gripping the spicy Italian I craved.

Needless to say, my patience for hot meat was wearing thin.