
Trudging through the snow I was vaguely aware of being alone in the land for the first time in quite a while. Since my appointment as Thane I had grown used to having my attendant Lydia around. I briefly wondered if I should drop the difficulty level back off of expert while I was on my own. The game had been far too easy, but that was several levels and a companion ago. Such thoughts were forgotten as I spied a beautiful little lake tucked away in this particular corner of nowhere. The Elder Scrolls games are always good for sidetracking your thoughts with shiny things. Enticed by the small, hopefully treasure laden, island in the middle and emboldened by the sight of a handful of mudcrabs on the opposite shore, I waded in.

There were no herbs either. What there was, however, was a curious little trap door right in the middle of this island. I had to know what was inside. Crouching into stealth mode, I ventured inside.
The entrance cave was surprisingly short. It soon opened up to a huge two-story chamber. I could just barely make out the figure of a woman making some sort of motions at the bottom near the water. I crept closer, feeling secure on my perch so far above. I froze when I heard her call out if anyone was there. She began to move around to the westward side of the chamber, out of my range of vision. Oh, yeah, someone was here. Someone whose hands were capable of acting like flamethrowers. Come see.

No such luck. She spotted me from a good deal further away than I expected. Her ice bots were answered with an overcharged jet of my own fire. I caught the flash of her name and health bar at the top of the screen: Vampire Adept. I let up on the fire button (pun!) and called up the menu to ready my summoning spells. Through the half transparent list of my arcane arts I saw three more black robed figures rushing up the stairs to my overlook. Ask not for whom the bone bones; It bones for thee. Even with my arcane arts and the fall back of transforming into a seven foot tall fuzzy killing machine, I wasn’t going to take down four vampires. I summoned a fire elemental to tie up the bloodsucking cadre and bolted back out the trap door.
I hit the water of the lake at full sprint. I didn’t stop until I reached the other shore. Once there, I glanced back and saw my elemental pop out of the bloodsucker’s cave in a misguided attempt to follow its master. Daylight or no, I wasn’t waiting around to see if the vamps were going to follow as well. I turned and ran again.
I had cleared one hill to Winterhelm. The second would prove an even more eventful distraction: A fort.
I stopped just outside of the structure and crouched into the stealth position to weigh my options. Seeing as no guards had poured out to, again, berate me about that unfortunate little incident back in Riverwood involving a newly purchased frost spell and a local chicken, I knew there was no one civilized inside. I crept closer to the archway. Usually just bandits or undead. Nothing that was going to give me much trouble. I slinked into the entryway to the courtyard. That’s when the flame jets went off.

A male voice called out over the battlement asking if anyone was there. I flattened myself up against the outer wall and again accessed the menu to equip a healing spell in each hand. I pulled both triggers to dual cast and restore my health as fast as possible. How Bethesda can create a highly detailed virtual world that allows for unimaginable freedom and still not figure out how to let me use the frigging mouse wheel to quickly scroll through my favorite loadouts without forcing me to pause the game and fumble through a menu is beyond me. Health restored, I peeked around the corner and back into the Flaming Entryway of Death. Sure enough, the entrance was lined with small nozzles. I scanned for a tripwire or pressure plate that severed as the trap’s trigger, but could find nothing. Forget it. I was just going to slip around the side and sneak along the back wall. I don’t need this crap. I’m alone, far from home, and carrying a backpack full of treasure to sell.
That was when I heard the dragon’s roar.
Before I had time to finish uttering my string of obscenities, the great beast was upon me. The ground shook from the beating of its mighty wings. It opened its maw and…

In an instant, a ghostly wolf was at my throat; A familiar conjured by one of the mages. Switching to my fire enchanted mace, I felled that supernatural hound in one blow. The ground again shook as the dragon beat its wings to gain altitude. I had seen this before. It was going to circle around for a strafing run with its breath weapon. I was going to need cover. Ice shards rang around me as the mages took this opportunity to pick on the new guy. I summoned a fire Antronach to draw their fire (of ice) and continued on course along where the back wall should have been. There was a partially ruined tower at the corner of the fort, if I could make it there I’d have at least some cover from-

I began quaffing enough potions to turn Geralt of Riva green. Restore and fortify health, restore and fortify magicka, resistance to frost, fire, and magic, skill boost for light armor and one handed weapons. I readied a shield spell in one hand. In the other, my special little friend, Vox Knot.

Preparations complete, I took a deep breath and resumed the fight in earnest.
I let out a Shout, a power granted to me as Dragonborn, and knocked the magi to their knees. I surged forward, madly slashing Vox Knot before me. I heard the weapon make contact and continued running to the other side of the courtyard. I heard the dragon take flight behind me. I spun around, shield spell already active. One of the mage lay dead on the ground. Having been weakened fighting the dragon, the blow from my pointy little friend was enough to kill him outright. Shut down mages indeed! His buddy was still standing. And throwing fire. I threw two fistfuls of lightning back and he flew off his feet and into the far tower, dead. I conjured another flame elemental and surveyed the scene.

The dragon had landed on the side of the first hill I had ventured across and was happily snacking on a pack of wolves. It would be back. I would be ready. I had a whole fort to dance around in with plenty of cover from the guard towers and a hidey-hole in the form of a nearly enclosed stairwell at the back of the fort. The courtyard wasn’t big enough for the beast to land in. It would have already done so if it could have. I was ready.

Just a quick jaunt to town…
The sky turned red as night came. It began to snow. For the third time, I headed for Windhelm. The snowfall steadily increased until I was stumbling nearly blind through a blizzard. I could barely make out what I desperately hoped was the entrance to the walled city. That’s when I noticed the icons on my desktop.
Skyrim had crashed without so much as the decency of an error message. Boom! CTD. Crash To Desktop. Third time today.

While I’m disappointed with the technical issues, there is no doubt that The Elder Scrolls is still one of the biggest and brightest achievements in the art of electronic gaming.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is now available for Windows
Reviewer Rating: 5/5 Stars: Unparalleled

Want more Skyrim? Be sure to check out Growing Up Otaku’s Tribute to the Epic Beards of Skyrim!
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