Deal! Buy Your Own Drivable Giant Robot That Shoots People in the Face When You Smile

Kuratas-WonderFest2012-16Be they Gundams, Vital Suits, Battlemechs, Labors, Wanzers, or even Tachikomas, we’ve all wanted to pilot our own giant robot through the neighborhood. The problem? They didn’t exist. Today, that changes. Get your checkbooks out!

This is the Suidobashi Heavy Industries Kuratas-001. This is a real-life, 13-foot tall, 4.4 ton, physical embodiment of your every power fantasy. The Kuratas rolls along in either high- or low-profile mode at a casual 6mph. Should any motorist be dumb enough to sound his horn at your Sunday driving, the Kuratas can unleash a number of mountable weapon systems ranging from non-lethal, water bottle launching Lohas Launcher to the twin-barreled, 6,000 RPM, smile activated, BB loaded KH Gun.

Yeah, let’s go over that last part again: The Smile Shot system built into Kuratas’ Bushido OS uses touch-screen targeting and facial recognition to unleash a hail of BBs at your intended victim when you smile. No, I can’t make this kind of stuff up. I’m too $#%*ing old and American to have EVER thought of smile activated twin Gatling guns.

Kuratas-001 can also be operated via remote. An on-board 3G connection keeps Kuratas in connection with a small action figure version of your new big buddy. Dubbed the Master Slave System, the big guy will move his arms to mimic gestures made with the figure. Find yourself out and about without your mini-mech and need a little remote control action? You will be happy to know that, yes, there is an app for that. Like Batman. With a Japanese Battlemech.

The Kuratas-001is bargain priced starting at around $1.4 million and available from Suidobashi Heavy Industries (whose web site has collapsed due to excessive traffic) in your choice of colors and loadouts. GIigazine’s YouTube channel also has a number of clips from the unveiling.

So… Um… Yeah. That happened… and… OMFGWTFBBQ!!!!1oneonezero!1!

Now I have to convince The Mrs. I need one for an unboxing video. Any ideas?

2 comments :

  1. I'd be hosing the countryside down with the guns constantly, from giggling like a schoolgirl the whole time I was driving it.

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  2. Yeah, seems to be a strange option. I fail to see how I could stop smiling while piloting a 4.5 ton mech through town.

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