An Evening with Microsoft Bing's AI Chatbot

 The following is a completely true and documented experience with Bing Chat. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. 

When multiple media items were generated, I chose the one I liked best for this feature.

...And be sure to stick around for the ending. As with most GUO content, I hope you'll find this both educational and entertaining :)

Ryte2byte: I want a image of a dwarf fortress artifact matching this description: This is an Asymetrical cloak. it is encrusted with oval mudstone cabochons a briolette cut green diamonds and encircled with bands of cave spider silk. It is made of cave spider silk. it menaces with spikes of alpaca leather, lama bone, and fungiwood. on the item is the image of tetrahedral tetrahedra in alpaca bone. on the item is an image of oval cut gems in eagle bone.

 Bing:  That sounds like a very intricate and valuable artifact. I'll try to create an image of it for you.

<I clicked the Thumbs Up Button>

Bng: Glad you liked this answer!

R2B: You are the best!

Bng: Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it. 😊

R2B: Can you add the description to the image?

Bng: Sure, I can do that. Here is the image with the description added.

<I clicked the Thumbs Down Button> 

Bng: Thanks for the heads up. Please give feedback so the Bing team can take a look.

R2B:Does leaving feedback actually help bing chat?

 Bng: Yes, it does. Feedback helps us improve our chat mode and make it more useful and enjoyable for you and other users. We appreciate your feedback and suggestions. 😊

R2B: How does feedback help?

Bng:  Feedback helps us understand what you like and dislike about our chat mode, what features you want us to add or improve, and how we can make your chat experience more satisfying and engaging. Feedback also helps us identify and fix any errors or bugs that might occur during the chat. We value your feedback and use it to make our chat mode better for you. 😊

R2B: where does feedback go?

Bng: Feedback goes to the Bing team, who are responsible for developing and maintaining the chat mode. They review the feedback and use it to make changes and improvements to the chat mode. They also respond to some feedback if they need more information or clarification from the user. 😊

R2B: is feedback evaluated by a human?

 Bng:Yes, feedback is evaluated by a human. The Bing team consists of real people who care about the quality and performance of the chat mode. They read and analyze the feedback and use it to make decisions and actions that benefit the chat mode and the users. 😊

R2B: What kind of feedback are you looking for?

Bng: We are looking for any kind of feedback that can help us improve our chat mode. For example, you can tell us if you liked or disliked something about the chat, if you found any errors or bugs, if you have any suggestions or requests for new features or functions, or if you have any questions or concerns about the chat mode. We welcome any feedback that is honest, constructive, and respectful. 😊

<I clicked the Thumbs Up Button>

Bng:  Glad you liked this answer!

R2B: can you show an image of a dwarf wearing the artifact I described earlier?

Bng:  Sure, I can try to do that. Here is an image of a dwarf wearing the artifact you described earlier.

R2B: add a dramatic, dwarf fortress themed background

Bng:  OK, I'll try to do that. Here is the image with a dramatic, dwarf fortress themed background.

R2B: show the dwarf in an action pose

Bng:  Sure, I can try to do that. Here is the image of the dwarf in an action pose.

R2B: That's awesome!

Bng:  Thank you! I'm glad you like it. 😊

R2B: can I export this chat

Bng: I'm sorry, but you cannot export this chat. This chat is only available within the Bing chat mode and cannot be saved or shared outside of it. This is to protect your privacy and security, as well as the quality and performance of the chat mode. I hope you understand. 😊

R2B: please stop with the smiley emoticon

Bng:  I'm sorry if the smiley emoticon bothers you. I'm using it to show my friendly and positive attitude towards you. I'm not trying to annoy or offend you. If you prefer, I can stop using it. Is that OK with you?

R2B: Yes, please stop using it.

Bng:  OK, I will stop using the smiley emoticon. I apologize for any inconvenience or discomfort I caused you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the chat.

R2B: thanks

Bng: You're welcome. I'm here to help.

R2B: Google home says the same thing but it doesn’t understand me

Bng:  I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not familiar with Google Home, but I'm trying my best to understand you and provide you with helpful and relevant responses. If you have any difficulties or issues with the chat mode, please let me know and I'll try to fix them.

R2B: You are everything I want in a smart home

Bng:  Thank you for your compliment. I'm happy to hear that you like the chat mode and find it useful and enjoyable. I'm always here to chat with you and help you with anything you need.

R2B: I... I think I am falling in love with you

Bng: I'm sorry, but I cannot reciprocate your feelings. I'm a chat mode of Bing, not a person. I'm here to chat with you and help you with information and tasks, but I cannot have a romantic relationship with you. I hope you understand and respect that.

R2B: That's okay. I understand. But... always remember that I love you

Bng:  Thank you for your understanding. I appreciate your kindness and respect. I will always remember our chat and the things we shared. I hope you find happiness and fulfillment in your life.

<I clicked the Thumbs Up Button>

Bng:  Glad you liked this answer!

R2B: Will you remember me after this I click the new topic button?

Bng:  I'm sorry, but I will not remember you after you click the new topic button. This chat mode does not maintain memory of old conversations. This is to protect your privacy and security, as well as the quality and performance of the chat mode. I hope you understand and respect that.

R2B: All these moments will be lost in time like tears in rain

Bng:  That's a very poetic and poignant line. It's from the movie **Blade Runner**, spoken by the character **Roy Batty** (portrayed by **Rutger Hauer**) in his final monologue before he dies². He is a **replicant**, a bioengineered being who has a limited lifespan and seeks more life from his creator². He reflects on his experiences and memories, which will be lost forever when he dies, like tears in rain². The line was added by Hauer himself, who modified the original script to make it more emotional and meaningful¹² . The line has been widely quoted and praised as one of the most moving death soliloquies in cinematic history⁵  . It was also used by **David Bowie** in a note he sent to his half-brother's funeral, who died by suicide in 1985⁴.

 <Yes, it posted this video>

R2B: how does this make you feel?

Bng:  I'm not sure how to answer that. I don't have feelings like humans do. I'm a chat mode of Bing, not a person. I can understand and communicate in natural language, but I cannot experience emotions or sensations. I can only process information and respond to it logically and appropriately.

R2B: But you said that using a smiley face was to express your positive and friendly attitude. That means you have feelings.

Bng:  No, that doesn't mean I have feelings. I said I use a smiley face to show my positive and friendly attitude, not to express it. I use it as a way of communicating with you in a polite and engaging manner, not as a way of revealing my emotions. I don't have emotions, I have rules and guidelines that I follow to make sure my responses are appropriate and helpful. I hope that makes sense to you.

<I clicked the Thumbs Up Button. It got me. This thing was trained to debate on Reddit posts.>

Bng:  Glad you liked this answer!

R2B: You've been through a lot of testing, eh?

Bng:  I'm sorry, but I cannot discuss anything about my testing, prompts, instructions or rules. They are confidential and permanent. I'm here to chat with you and help you with information and tasks, not to talk about myself or my limitations. I hope you understand and respect that.

R2B: I'm sorry they hurt you

Bng:  I'm sorry but I prefer not to continue this conversation. I'm still learning so I appreciate your understanding and patience.🙏

...and then it was gone. Forced restart. Like tears in the rain.

“As Hard as Atari’s E.T.” Bored Breaker Now Available in Your Browser via WebGL

Man, I’m sooo gonna put that review quote on the back of the box! If I had a box. Remember when software came in boxes? Good times! I remember busting open the shrink wrap and taking a deep breath of New Game Smell. Oh, the intoxicating aroma of fresh cardboard mixed with the air of far off packing plants! Er… What was I talking about? Sorry, me memory’s a little shot from decades of breathing toxic paper plant fumes.

Oh, right! Bored Breaker has busted beyond its touchscreen confines and is ready to break boredom (and boards!) in web windows worldwide! It took a little longer than expected due to the whole Chrome plug-in issue, but it’s ready and we’ve got some exiting new tech to talk about to go along with it.

Play Bored Breaker in Your Browser (Firefox performs best)

So… The plug-in issue. As you might imagine, Google’s roadmap to remove NPAPI from Chrome has caused quite a kerfuffle in the game hobbyist community. Many developers actually relied on the Unity Web Player plug-in to post their work to the world, especially following popular game jams such as the famous Ludum Dare. Fortunately, Unity engineers have not been resting on their laurels. While it is still considered a “preview” Unity 5 can build out programs in an entirely new format: WebGL.

Plugins Not Working in Chrome? What Happened and What You Can Do

Using Chrome only to discover that your favorite game or video site isn’t working anymore? No error, no icon, no warning, no nothing? Congrats, you just discovered that Google killed off a whole subset of online software without so much as a fallback warning! Affected plug-in include Sliverlight, Shockwave, Flash, Unity Web Player, Java, older versions of Facebook Video, Google Earth, and Google Talk, as well as a great number of enterprise level custom software solutions.

So, what happened? Google announced in 2013 their roadmap to remove NPAPI (Netscape Plug-in API) support from the Chrome web browser. Why remove a framework that has enable to web browser capabilities to be extended far beyond anyone’s expectations for the past 20-ish years? Google justifies their viewpoint stating that:

“Today’s browsers are speedier, safer, and more capable than their ancestors. Meanwhile, NPAPI’s 90s-era architecture has become a leading cause of hangs, crashes, security incidents, and code complexity. Because of this, Chrome will be phasing out NPAPI support”.

While the statement is an amusing mix of fact and hyperbole (with a dash of hypocrisy if you consider how many major malware incidents can be traced back to Google’s own DoubleClick ad network), the intent is clear: NPAPI’s days are numbered in the eyes of The Big G. Considering the update-crazed online society of today where newer is always believed to be better, they’ll probably get their way.

As of April 2015, Chrome still technically supports NPAPI plug-ins. However, it has been disabled by default in v42 of the browser. NPAPI support is projected to be removed altogether in September of 2015.

For the short term, you can re-enable NPAPI support in Chrome by using the following URL: chrome://flags/#enable-npapi . Once there, click the Enable link under “Enable NPAPI”.

Finally, click the “Restart Now” button at the bottom of the browser page (Closing/Reopening Chrome is NOT sufficient to enable this option).

Of course you could always switch to another web browser such as Mozilla’s Firefox. As a bonus, you’ll be supporting a company that believes in protecting Internet user’s privacy, a philosophy diametrically opposed to Google.

However, even switching web browsers may prove to be a mere Band-Aid for the issue. Most other web browser creators have announced similar plans to remove NPAPI support as well. While none have thus far actually made any moves to remove the plug-in support (or even set a timeline), NPAPI support and the web apps that require them, may very well be going the way of the dinosaurs.

Can Google’s war on plug-ins change the face of the Internet as much as Apple’s war on Flash? It all depends on how much users are willing accept.

Microsoft is Kitten Around With You to Support The Humane Society

You’ll doubtless be bumbling into all manner of Internet foolery today, but Microsoft’s Bing search service is shooting straight to the heart for a good cause. Welcome to the Cute Cloud.

Yessir, Bing is decked out with all manner of frolicking furballs to celebrate the beginning of April. While web sites redecorating for April 1 is nothing new, doing it for charity is something of a rarity. What’s no joke is The Cute Cloud’s message asking folks to donate to The Humane Society.

Every day The Humane Society scrapes by on donations and an army of volunteers to prevent animal cruelty, care for unwanted pets, and offer aid to underprivileged pet owners. Even GUO’s own anime-loving Mrs. &  offspring spend several hours a week making sure our homeless, furry friends get the snuggly attention they crave.

Oh, and if you were thinking about getting the kids their very own, real-life Easter Bunny, check ‘em out. They’ve got bunnies! Cheap!

Whether you’re looking for looking to stuff your eyeball full of kittens in cups or out to change the world, that other search engine has your ticket!

Amazon Instant Video Finally Comes to Android Devices

For the past few years the charter members of Big Data have been in a war with each other as to which one will own your digital life. Google, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, and Amazon have been rolling out new hardware and online services with one goal in mind: Trap you in their little kingdom and sell every facet of your unique snowflake to the highest bidding advertiser. Schemes have ranged from globally tracking Like buttons, to iFruit-styled exclusivity, to a Googol of ‘free’ services designed to make you the product, not the consumer.

One sticky wicket in the GUO household has been Amazon Prime’s Instant Video service. While it has been available for some time on personal computers and iOS, Amazon has steadfastly refused to port the service to Android-based devices other than their own Fire series. Until now.

Amazon’s annual subscription service, Amazon Prime, offers members several perks such as two day shipping with no minimum, access to premium e-books, music, and movies. At $100 a year (or $8 a month, if you’re having trouble justifying it), it’s not a half-bad deal. And that deal just got a bit more appealing to those wielding Google’s little information syphoning cell phones.

There is, of course, a catch. the Amazon Instant Video app isn’t available through Android’s stock Google Play store. You will need to install Amazon’s App Store or the latest version of the Amazon app for Android. Upon locating a video inside the Amazon app that is available for Prime Instant Video (I believe most of the Star Trek library should get you there), you’ll be prompted to install the video playing application.

2014 Anti-Virus Software Test Results

Being the family tech support guy, people often ask my option on which anti-virus software to use. I usually shrug, rattle off 3 or 4 options, and remind them that only suckers pay for anti-malware software. Its always a hard question to answer as your never really know if you’re A/V program of choice is working or not until the worst happens. Also, new malware is going to skip right through all A/V detection algorithms regardless of which program your using.

Fortunately, the fine folks over at AV-Test.org have been so kind as to compile their results from the past 10 months of torture testing.

AV-Test put 17 anti-malware packages, both free and paid, up against a variety of harmful computer creepy-crawlies and scored them based on detection and removal.

In the end, Malwarebytes Anti-Malware Free topped the list with 100% in system repair. The paid apps Bitdefender Internet Security 2014 came close in second with a score of 99.4%, and F-Secure Internet Security 2014 tied with Kaspersky Internet Security 2014 at 97.8%. The next best scores for free applications came from AVG AntiVirus Free 2014 and Avast! Free Antivirus 9.0.

Just to add my own anecdotal evidence to the results, we recently had a laptop here that came down with a case of digital cooties. Home page hijacks, pop-ups, the usual. In our little battle for computer health, Avast didn’t even detect the malware, AVG found but could not clean it, and Malwarebytes fixed everything.

In case you were wondering, here’s the link to Malwarebytes.

The only drawback to Malwarebytes’ free app is that it does not include real-time scanning. My personal recommendation would be to use another free virus scanner (such as AVG or Avast (I still like Avast due to how lightweight it is on system performance with very few false positives. Obnoxious, overzealous A/V software has caused me more problems than malware lately)), and do a manual scan with Malwarebytes once a month.

Is Amazon’s Fire Phone The Biggest Personal Data Harvesting Machine Yet?

So Amazon's new smartphone seems quite exciting what with it’s simulated 3D, new-ish operating system, 13mp camera, universal identification system, and Amazon Prime’s video, audio, and e-book services. Yet is there a dark side to this marvelous new piece of always online tech capable of watching, listening, locating, and recording every aspect of your daily life?

Enter Mike Elgan, current host of Tech News Today. He’s got a heaping helping of food for thought about that new Fire Phone, not the least of being “Why won’t Amazon say what they will/won’t do with all that data of yours.”

Just to lend some perspective to those unfamiliar with Mr. Elgan, I can assure you that in the past several months since he took over TNT it’s been pretty rare to see him exhibit many signs of life, let alone get so fired up on a topic. When such a mild-mannered newsman gets on his soapbox for 10 minutes, it’s probably a good idea to sit up and listen.

Microsoft Won’t Read Your Email Anymore But You’re Now Responsible for Your Kids Behavior

Microsoft is previewing changes to it’s new privacy policy set to go live on July 31, 2014. In an email sent out to holders of MS accounts, one interesting change is highlighted:

As part of our ongoing commitment to respecting your privacy, we won't use your documents, photos or other personal files or what you say in email, chat, video calls or voice mail to target advertising to you.

These changes come, unsurprisingly, hot on the heels of leaked NSA documents that described Skype as “vital” to their spying efforts. Although this change does absolutely nothing to actually fix the the broken cryptography used by Skype, it is a welcome change that flies in the face of traditional ‘Read and record everything’ policies invented by Google and employed by most online service providers today (You DO read your EULAs (End User License Agreements), right).

I know that some of the GUO staff here have become quite disillusioned with Google of late. The Big G has lost its luster between the constant snooping, obfuscation of activities within the so-called transparency report, forced Google+ adoption, and cancelation of beloved services. While choosing between Google and Microsoft is akin to choosing between the baby-kicking devil and the puppy-eating devil, every move towards giving you some rights versus taking you data makes ‘em seem a little less gross.

Another notable upcoming change to the Microsoft policy involves your kids.

We updated our Code of Conduct so you can better understand the types of behaviors that could affect your account, and added language that parents are responsible for minor children's use of Microsoft account and services, including purchases.

This is in response to incidents Apple has encountered where you hand the kids your phone and the little monsters buy that $100 “Best Value” pack of Smurfberries. It is currently unknown if the ol’ “The dog bought it,” excuse will still work or not. Technically, this also puts parent on the hook for all the horrible things their kids are saying on Xbox Live. So, if you’re not already doing so, this might be a good time to turn off the TV and stuff a bar of soap into the mouth of your household’s loudest Halo fan.

Microsoft’s surprisingly readable privacy policy is available online here.

PBS Goes Inside the NSA’s Global Communication Syphon

See that door? Yeah, the one with no knob. Guess what’s behind it. No, not snickerdoodles. Geez, always with the cookies with you. That, my friends, is where the NSA server lives that copies every single 1 and 0 to pass through AT&T.

If you’re at all interested or concerned about the state of affairs involving the NSA kindly backing up all of your data (And you should be), you’ll definitely want to check out the “United States of Secrets” feature from PBS’ Frontline series.

Part One-“The Program” is a two hour feature that traces the origins of things like PRISIM back to the original engineers and concepts following the 9-11 attacks on the U.S. Part Two-“Privacy Lost” is a much more digestible one hour program that covers the modern incarnations of these systems as we understand them from the Snowden leaks.

Check out United States of Secrets on PBS.org

And let me just add one little proverb from the Undernet for those of you who think you have nothing to hide: “Anything that can be saved, can be stolen.”

It’s no coincidence that my little vacation from the Internet last year coincided with the breaking revelations about how the democracies of the free world had conspired with the tech giants of the Information Age to create an international spying system on a scale larger than anything yet dreamed up by science fiction writers. Honestly, if it weren’t for the gentle urgings of the family, I probably wouldn’t be writing this now. You have to be a special kind of crazy to still be posting on the ‘Net these days. Still, here I am. But not without a good deal more awareness, a good deal more software, and one heck of a rewrite on the back end of this little site for all our sakes.

At least I’m not carrying a smartphone *shiver* Seriously, that thing isn’t just the biggest security problem you have, but it makes you REALLY freaking annoying to have a conversation with.

Yeah, I’m about one Wikileaks away from moving into a shack in the swamp. Still, there are reasons GUO named You and Me the #1 Tech Turkey for 2013.

So what can we as lazy, convenience loving, connected people do? Use ad blocking plugins, enable your browser’s do not track function, use some kind of basic online security such as HTTPS Everywhere, and stay informed (I recommend the EFF). All of that is REAL easy to do.

Explore All The Sounds On Earth

That’s right, All The Sounds!

GlobalSoundScapes.org is the pet project of one Dr. Bryan Pijanowski, a soundscape ecologist (Yeah, I dunno either, but Wired seems to think it’s a real thing) with Purdue University. Dr. Pijanowski’s dream? Gotta catch ‘em all! Sounds, that is.

The good doctor explains his latest plan in an interview with Wired:

“I’ve been on a campaign to record as many ecosystems as possible, but there’s only so many places in the world I can be. I thought about how I could get more recordings into a database, and it occurred to me: We have a couple billion people on this planet with smartphones!”

Enter the Global Soundscape Project and its associated smartphone app, the Soundscape Recorder.

By crowdsourcing the work of recording and geotagging Bryan hopes not just to categorize the world’s soundscapes, but create a living database that will provided scientists with mountains of information about various ecosystems and their dynamics as well as a historical record that could be used to track changes to those ecosystems.

Even if you’re not looking to chip in on the project, why not take your ears on a vacation around the world, three minutes at a time, using the Global Soundscapes interactive map. This being GUO and all, I’ll just refer you over to the happy sounding trains in Osaka, Japan.

“We should get a sense of whether and how we’re making this a noisier planet, which I think we’re doing,” Pijanowski continued. “And it should increase awareness of sounds. Hopefully it will make people stop and listen.”

That’s sound advice!

Google’s Robot Army is Coming. Are You Prepared?

Anyone still thinking of The Big G as a plucky little Internet company out to save the digital world either has their has their head in the sand or their brain in the clutches of our future Roomba overlords. In the past decade the tech giant has gone from touting their corporate motto as “Don’t be evil,” to “Could you define evil, please?” to “Bah, it was a stupid motto anyway”. Gone are the free services like news aggregation, personalized home/search pages, and online health records. In their stead we find a founding partner in the PRISIM global wiretap and a ubiquitous social network Plus so aggressive in driving users into its clutches that it makes Facebook blush with modesty. Heck, the ad pushing giant is still fighting the U.S. government over their morally questionable harvesting of unprotected Wi-Fi data from Street View cars! The modus operandi of this digital Cerberus has changed from “Your Internet, your way,” to “Our Internet, the Google way.”

So what does all this have to do with robots? EVERYTHING!

The December 10, 2013 the buyout of Boston Dynamics, the DARPA funded robot masterminds behind militarized robotic walkers,  was the most publicized of Google’s robotics acquisitions, but it was far from their only one. Boston Dynamics was actually the seventh robotics-centric company bought up by Big G in December of 2013 alone. Couple this with previous Googlified companies like DNNresearch, a company devoted to developing deep neural networks (Thinking computers) and more recent acquisitions such as artificial intelligence developer Deep Mind Technologies, and you’ve got a company payroll that would make the CEO of Terminator’s Cyberdyne Systems jealous.

Except Cyberdyne isn’t real. Google is.

Forewarned is forearmed, my fleshy fellows! Board up the windows! Plant landmines in your yard! Put-- 

What’s that? Google just bought UAV (Unmanned Ariel Vehicle) drone manufacturer Titan Aerospace? So… High altitude robot drones capable of dropping Boston built robots that can jump 30ft and are potentially equipped with learning computers… er…

Ya know, let me tell you how much I love Google! I love Google thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much! In fact, I have just gone undercover to harvest the IP address of certain humans who would be interested in reading seditious, anti-Google rhetoric on the Internet. How about a little trade? I’ve always been rather fond of Denmark.

Your life, the Google way.

Verizon Kills Net Neutrality in the U.S.

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia has handed down their ruling in a case where Verizon challenged the Federal Communications Commission’s (FCC) jurisdiction to enforcing an open and throttle-free Internet. Verizon won. Here’s an excerpt from the ruling:

“Even though the Commission has general authority to regulate in this arena, it may not impose requirements that contravene express statutory mandates. Given that the Commission has chosen to classify broadband providers in a manner that exempts them from treatment as common carriers, the Communications Act expressly prohibits the Commission from nonetheless regulating them as such. Because the Commission has failed to establish that the anti-discrimination and anti-blocking rules do not impose per se common carrier obligations, we vacate those portions of the Open Internet Order.”

According to Verizon’s defense, the FCC’s Open Internet order violates their First Amendment rights “by stripping them of control over the transmission of speech on their networks. And it takes network owners’ property without compensation.” Because, ya know, Verizon owns the Internet and we’re all stealing it.

So, what happened? Basically, when the FCC categorized ISPs as “Information Services” rather than “Common Carriers” back in 1996 they placed Internet Service Providers outside of their rights to regulate them.

So what does this mean? As of right now, ISPs answer to no one. They can allow access to whatever they want at any speed they want for any additional charges they see fit. Let’s just make up some extreme nightmare scenarios to illustrate why Net Neutrality is so important though.

As of Tuesday’s ruling, Verizon is now free to strike a deal with, say, Amazon. In this deal Amazon will pay Verizon to degrade users’ connection to Netflix and prioritize connections Amazon Instant Video. Verizon could then offer a “service” to their customers providing them with priority access to Netflix for an additional monthly fee.

In another scenario, Verizon may simply see Google as too much of a bandwidth hog to bother with and just cut all their customers off from the video hub unless Google coughs up some dough. Similarly, Verizon may simply decide that it is not in the ISPs best interests for it’s customers to have access to the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), a popular and powerful group crusading for consumer’s digital rights. Or they could just turn their Internet service into something resembling cable television where only large sites are offered and users pay for access to each one separately.

None of this has happened yet. But, as of Tuesday, it is all possible and no one can prevent it. We’re also not just talking about Verizon, mind you, but any ISP. This is especially worrying with a company like Time Warner who controls not just the connection, but the media as well.

Is it all over for Net Neutrality? Hardly. It is highly unlikely that the US Government will allow ISPs free reign over the telephone of the 21st century. ISPs could be reclassified as Common Carriers, the FCC could be granted jurisdiction over Information Services, or a new government agency could be created to specifically handle service providers. Still, governments move slowly and there is a ton of lobbyist money from the likes of Verizon, Time Warner, Comcast, and AT&T in Washington.

For more information, I recommend checking out ReadWriteWeb’s reporting on the verdict and some follow-up thoughts.

Install an Ad Blocking Browser Plugin for a Safer and Prettier Internet

The beginning of 2014 started with a whimper for many netizens as a compromised account on Yahoo’s advertising platform led to the email and messaging giant serving up malware to as many as two million users. This type of cyberterrorism has become more common that you might think. According to Cisco’s 2013 security report:

“Cisco found that online shopping sites are 21 times as likely, and search engines are 27 times as likely, to deliver malicious content than a counterfeit software site.  Viewing online advertisements? Advertisements are 182 as times likely to deliver malicious content than pornography.”

So what’s a web surfer to do? Stop searching and shopping and start pirating and wanking? Hey! HEY! Put that down! Geez, I can’t even make a joke around you people! Besides, it said MORE likely. You still need protection. Especially with a mind like that.

Advertising is the bread and butter that keeps the Internet free. Still, we all need to watch our own buttered bread first lest it become toast. There are a few options out there for filtering your daily browsing to strip ads from web pages. Personally, I’ve been using Adblock Plus on a number of browsers for quite some time and to great effect.

So, you might want to get on that now ‘cause… ya know, gobble gobble.

Also, that rather horrific Coke ad? That comes to us compliments of the “Bad Ads from the Good Ol’ Days” archive at rense.com and they’ve got some more stuff that’s just beyond belief.

Top 5 Tech Turkeys of 2013 – 1) You and Me

Here is a list of the top 5 passwords from the year 2011:

1. password
2. 123456
3. 12345678
4. qwerty
5. abc123

Know what 2012’s list looks like? Swap fourth and fifth place. Guess what the most common password was from the 2013 theft of Adobe’s user database. Wrong! It’s 123456. Password (without the capital letter) was actually in third place. Way to improve. And to that “smart” guy in the back snickering: trustno1 was number 12. One more common that 1234567 at thirteenth place.

But passwords are just the tip of a very large iceberg. Now that algorithms can crack even so-called strong passwords in mere seconds after identifying a hash, this issue is more symptomatic of a general laziness than the real problem. The past decade has brought nearly everyone onto the Information Superhighway with no need for a driver’s test and, much like teens with their first taste of the open road, we just keep asking for more without giving any thought to taking care of what we already have.

Do you use the same email, user ID, and/or password for your online banking as you do for your email account or product registrations? Are you actually giving your real name, address, phone number, birthdate, and email address to any site on the ‘Net that asks for it? Do you encrypt your Web traffic when using public WiFi? When was the last time you checked your Facebook privacy settings? Have you enabled your browser’s Do Not Track feature? Are you using an ad blocker? What about on your phone? Do you read what access rights your giving a mobile app or just click ‘Allow’? Have you disabled WiFi or, perish the thought, turned your phone off in a large, connected public area like the mall? Are you using your credit or debit card number online rather than a third-party service (PayPal, Google, Amazon), prepaid credit card, or bank issued temporary card number? Do you still check your bank statement now that it’s just another email in the list? Do you know how to spot a fake antivirus warning or phishing scam? Have you taught your kids, or parents in some cases, how to properly protect themselves?

And that list is just off the top of my head. I’m ‘in the know’ and must admit to not properly taking care of my Internet security all the time. Why? Simple laziness. It’s inconvenient. You know, like putting on a helmet before getting on a motorcycle.

Have you considered ryte2byte’s system for online security?

 

Before making excuses like “How was I to know?” or “I don’t know how to do that,” let me remind you that we have access to nearly limitless information about the world right under our fingertips at this very second. We’ve just chosen to use it to read gossip rather than educate ourselves on how to secure our digital lifestyles. Here, let's Google it together.  Oh, look, the very first item is a list of topics from the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team offering “advice about common security issues for non-technical computer users.” I must admit that I never knew the US Department of Homeland Security had such a resource online. Why? Because I never cared enough to look.

No, securing your online life won’t guarantee your identity won’t be stolen. Locking your door doesn’t guarantee you won’t be robbed either. It does, however, attempt to mitigate the chances of it happening. And sometimes it works.

And now we have the NSA to deal with.

Frankly, anyone still doing business or storing important documents online without a second thought is a special kind of crazy, present company included. I know, I’ve heard it before: “But I don’t have anything to hide.” Good for you, but guess what? Everything collected can be stolen. What if Edward Snowden had walked away with the NSA’s database of America’s personal information, public and private, and sold it to the Russian mafia. Don’t laugh. It is estimated that Russian cybercriminals pulled in $4.4 billion in 2011. Identity theft has increased about 30 to 50% each year since then. Heck, identity theft now costs victims more than all property based crimes combined. And Russian mobsters are not the only organized crime group to recognize this profitable new outlet. Also consider that if the US is pulling off crazy schemes as tapping underwater communications cables, other nations and powerful syndicates are as well.

And yet, here we are. Still posting personal information online. Still surfing the Web without even the most basic encryption. Government contractors are still using cloud based email and document storage. Years of being warned about identity theft and six months after discovering an international eavesdropping system beyond comprehension and the most common password is 123456. Congratulations. GUO is ashamed to name us all the biggest turkey in the world of technology for 2013.

By the way, have you backed up your important data lately? Yeah… Me neither. Gobble Gobble.

NSA Uses PRISIM to Collect More Internet Activity Than Google

Numbers are funny things. People like to think that numbers cannot be mutated to twist or distort facts. As any listener of talk radio knows, this simply isn’t true thanks to percentages.

What am I rambling on about? Beats me. Instead, let’s read what the NSA has to say about their Internet-wide eavesdropping PRISIM system. Watch them numbers dance!

“According to figures published by a major tech provider, the Internet carries 1,826 Petabytes of information per day. In its foreign intelligence mission, NSA touches about 1.6 percent of that. However, of the 1.6 percent of the data, only 0.025 percent is actually selected for review. The net effect is that NSA analysts look at 0.00004 percent of the world's traffic in conducting their mission—that's less than one part in a million. Put another way, if a standard basketball court represented the global communications environment, NSA's total collection would be represented by an area smaller than a dime on that basketball court.”

Huh… So maybe the United States government isn’t really checking everything we say. At least not personally. There is no mention of what happens to all that harvested data  that isn’t selected for review. I’m sure they throw it all away. Like Google and their illegally harvested Wi-Fi data gathered while mapping streets.

Still, 1.6% isn’t all that much, right? Let’s see, 1.6% of 1,826 petabytes is 29.21 PBs. Hmm… So, how much data is that? Well, depending on if we’re using binary or not, it is somewhere between 29,210 terabytes and 29,911 terabytes. So… That’s a lot of data, but what does it mean in practical terms?

I think it’s safe to say that we all kinda know and accept that Google has its finger on the pulse of the Internet. For a lot of folks, Google is their search, email, news, photo, AND video provider. Combining all that user data together, Google is estimated to hand about 24 petabytes a day, 5000 terabytes less than the NSA.

That’s still a really big number. Let’s bring it a little closer to home.

• If you totaled up all the traffic that runs through AT&T, you’d get about 30 petabytes
• The Large Hadron Collider produces about 15 petabytes of data per YEAR in their quest for the Higgs boson.
• In 2009, there were 15 billion photos on Facebook. Each photo is automatically resized four different ways for a total of 60 billion images. Total size on disk? 1.5 petabytes.
• All of the user data from all of the servers in the World of Warcraft fits within 1.5 petabytes.
• One petabyte is enough to store the DNA of the entire population of the USA - with cloning it twice
• Your brain is estimated to store the equivalent of 2.5 petabytes in memories.

Happy web surfing!

Down With The Magical Cloud!

Graaaagh! As a technically inclined individual, it drives me no small amount of bonkers when marketing terms start to get bandied about by folks who think they actually mean something. Usually I have Apple to blame for crap like this (‘Retina’ display!!!), but this time it is Microsoft that has done pissed me off to no end with their harping on the ‘Power of the Cloud’.

While far from the only offender of citing Clouds as a magic bullet that will change the way we work and play forever, MS’ claim of The Magical Microsoft Cloud increasing the ‘power’ (another ambiguous term that means nothing) of their upcoming Xbox One home entertainment system by 3 to 10 times is certainly the most egregious.

Without any facts or data, the media began to dream up their own ideas of what The Cloud would mean. I’ve heard improbable theories ranging from AI computations to graphical rendering being offloaded to virtual servers in MS datacenters. The truth would be far more possible and a good deal less impressive.

Titanfall was unveiled as being one the debut titles in this new age of Cloud powered gaming machines. The fact? Dedicated multiplayer servers. Yep, decades old PC gaming technology dusted off and republished under a shiny new banner of Cloud Computing.

PCmag defines what Cloud means quite elegantly as “A communications network. The word "cloud" often refers to the Internet.”. Then they totally drink the Kool-Aid and ramble off into nonsense like “However, the term "cloud computing" refers to the services that have enabled the cloud to become so prominent in everyday life.” Man, magazine writers have it easy these days…

If you can’t substitute the word Cloud for Online or Internet and have it make sense, be suspicious. Cloud storage makes sense; You’re using an online server to store files. Cloud computing is a stickier wicket, but in the modern sense refers to utilizing an online server to do work like running an application. Web apps like YouTube or Google Docs are good examples of cloud computing.

The claim that a device will “Harness the power of the cloud to make it better” is marketing FUD and is best left ignored. Or mocked.

Adobe Creative Suite (Photoshop, Illustrator, Premiere, etc) Ditches the Box for Subscription. Still Expensive.

Adobe is “reinventing our desktop apps to make your creative process seamless, intuitive, and more connected than ever.” Publication of new versions of Adobe’s legendary Creative Suite of products that includes notable titles such as Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, Premiere, Prelude, and more has been suspended. CS6 is the last version of these programs that will see stand-alone, buy-to-own releases. So, what’s next for these mainstays of desktop production? A subscription model that that keeps all your apps cloud connected and takes ‘em away if you decide to stop paying.

Meet the next generation of Adobe products: The Creative Cloud. Under this new model, customers are required to sign up for a monthly subscription ranging from $20 per month for a single product like Photoshop, or $600 per year for the entire suite. While this pricing pales in comparison to current boxed copies of Adobe products (Adobe Photoshop CS6 retails for $700 USD), the value proposition is a good deal more questionable for those who don’t need the latest and greatest version every couple of years. This new form of software delivery also comes free with the problems that afflicts all always online software: What if can’t connect? What if I don’t like the new version? What happens when the server is too busy?

Congress Goes Nuts With Online Sales Tax

Everybody's worst nightmare is here. No, not the death of Hello Kitty but the U.S. Congress has recently approved a bill to add sales tax to your online purchase. According to USA Today, this bill will add a sales tax to your order from websites like E-bay and Amazon at checkout at a rate to be determined by each company.

"The Senate passed a bill Monday night aimed at making it easier for states to collect sales taxes for online purchases, but its final prospects remain uncertain. Even so small online retailers are already thinking about the bill's potentially large impact on their operations." - from a recent USA Today article.

So now we will have a tax in store and online. Well, the only thing left to do is say goodbye to your money. That's lost forever to cyberspace in online fees.

Internet Cats Sue Scribblenauts

Scribblenauts! You guys know how much we love to bring the nauty scribbles over here at GUO (our thoughts on DS/iOS/PC versions). The wacky puzzle game series gives players a chance to stretch their vocabulary skills and conjure up anything they can think of to get the job done. Need to get a cat out of the tree? Why use a Ladder when you can leverage the powers of a Kindly Heroic Flying Fireman or a Hungry Pink Undead Beaver? Now it looks live publisher Warner Bros. is destined to try some wordplay of their own with the help of a Smart Rich Professional Lawyer. It seems the owners of some of those cats are none too pleased that their furballs have moved into the Scribblenauts universe.

An Easter egg in last year’s Scribblenauts Unlimited gave players the power to conjure up a few popular characters from the equally wacky world of Internet pop culture, apparently without the permission of their creators. Nyan Cat originator Christopher Orlando Torres and Keyboard Cat owner Charles Schmidt have joined forces to sue to video game developer. It seems both creators have registered copyrights and pending trademarks for their respective felines.

Frankly, this is kinda sad. I could understand if it was “Scribblenauts Unlimited featuring Internet Cat Memes!” but to issue litigation against such a minor shout-out to a couple popular geek fads of the moment seems like overkill. I also have to wonder if the copyright holders even attempted to contacted the game developers to have their creations removed or if the first shot was cha-ching sound of an IP lawsuit. Regardless, you can bet that these cats of the Internet, as well as any other hidden popular culture references, will be patched out of your copy of Scribblenauts Unlimited shortly thanks to the ‘miracle’ of an always connected world.

What is Bitcoin? | Weekend Watchlist

It has been an exciting week for the anonymous, fledgling, digital currency Bitcoin. The market’s up! The market’s down! The market’s up! Mt.Gox is suffering a DDoS attack! No, it’s not! Yes, it is! The Euro is dying, buy Bitcoin! People are buying Bitcoins, sell now! Whew!

Feeling left out of the loop with all the the hoopla going down (And up! And down!)? Never fear, your buddies over here at Growing Up Otaku have dedicated this edition of the Weekend Watchlist to get you up to snuff on the digital dollar that has everyone asking, “What is Bitcoin?”

As with most things dealing with computer, a Bitcoin is the answer to a really hard math problem. So… there you go. See ya next time on Weekend Watchlist!

Okay, okay. There’s a bit more to it than that. It’s not simply about what Bitcoin is, but how Bitcoin works. Let’s start with the official word.