Pro Tip: Make the AI RTFM

 As y'all know, I love experimenting with whatever new tech that happens to be floating around on the 'net for free. This means a ton of web searching and, nowadays, chatting with bots to learn lingo, limitations, and liabilities. This takes a ton of time and typing before I finally get going on whatever toy I'm trying to play with. Chatbots sometimes help and sometimes hinder, especially on new or rapidly evolving software, just like search queries. Have you seen how much todos about Photoshop have changed over the years?! The problem with the bots is, eventually, they just kinda go crazy. 

So, to get better bot interactions, we need to do two things: We need to get it to Read The F%$*ing Manual ('cause, let's face it, you won't). Then, we need to make sure to wipe it's brain between tasks.

Mozilla's Holiday Gift Guide Ranks Gadgets Based on Privacy and Creepiness

Non-profit privacy crusaders at the Mozilla Foundation (Firefox) have released a special flavor of gift guide for this season of giving. *Privacy Not Included examines 70 online connected gadgets and scrutinizes them for security, privacy, and disclosure before assigning a "creepiness" rating ranging from Not Creepy (Nintendo Switch) to Super Creepy (Anything from Ring (Yeah, you really should hit both those links)).

Each item on the list gets a full breakdown listing security features, privacy policies, surveillance features, sensitivity of data gathered, and even includes contact information for manufacturers. The cherry on top is a delightfully written hypothesis on worst case scenario.

So maybe you're not too concerned about Fluffy's poop schedule getting out into yonder Digiverse, but ask yourself: "Do I really want to give my money to a company that can't be bothered with writing a privacy policy at all? Do I really want their app on my phone?"

Check out the full guide here.

Plugins Not Working in Chrome? What Happened and What You Can Do

Using Chrome only to discover that your favorite game or video site isn’t working anymore? No error, no icon, no warning, no nothing? Congrats, you just discovered that Google killed off a whole subset of online software without so much as a fallback warning! Affected plug-in include Sliverlight, Shockwave, Flash, Unity Web Player, Java, older versions of Facebook Video, Google Earth, and Google Talk, as well as a great number of enterprise level custom software solutions.

So, what happened? Google announced in 2013 their roadmap to remove NPAPI (Netscape Plug-in API) support from the Chrome web browser. Why remove a framework that has enable to web browser capabilities to be extended far beyond anyone’s expectations for the past 20-ish years? Google justifies their viewpoint stating that:

“Today’s browsers are speedier, safer, and more capable than their ancestors. Meanwhile, NPAPI’s 90s-era architecture has become a leading cause of hangs, crashes, security incidents, and code complexity. Because of this, Chrome will be phasing out NPAPI support”.

While the statement is an amusing mix of fact and hyperbole (with a dash of hypocrisy if you consider how many major malware incidents can be traced back to Google’s own DoubleClick ad network), the intent is clear: NPAPI’s days are numbered in the eyes of The Big G. Considering the update-crazed online society of today where newer is always believed to be better, they’ll probably get their way.

As of April 2015, Chrome still technically supports NPAPI plug-ins. However, it has been disabled by default in v42 of the browser. NPAPI support is projected to be removed altogether in September of 2015.

For the short term, you can re-enable NPAPI support in Chrome by using the following URL: chrome://flags/#enable-npapi . Once there, click the Enable link under “Enable NPAPI”.

Finally, click the “Restart Now” button at the bottom of the browser page (Closing/Reopening Chrome is NOT sufficient to enable this option).

Of course you could always switch to another web browser such as Mozilla’s Firefox. As a bonus, you’ll be supporting a company that believes in protecting Internet user’s privacy, a philosophy diametrically opposed to Google.

However, even switching web browsers may prove to be a mere Band-Aid for the issue. Most other web browser creators have announced similar plans to remove NPAPI support as well. While none have thus far actually made any moves to remove the plug-in support (or even set a timeline), NPAPI support and the web apps that require them, may very well be going the way of the dinosaurs.

Can Google’s war on plug-ins change the face of the Internet as much as Apple’s war on Flash? It all depends on how much users are willing accept.

I didn’t know it did THAT! Kingwin 120mm PC Case Fan

The Green Machine’s been making a lot of racket lately. After pulling a few plugs inside my PC’s case, I narrowed it down to the 120mm exhaust fan. While I had gotten in the habit of thumping it in just the right spot on the back every 30 minutes to shut it up, the chore was getting a bit old. It was time to replace that sucker.

A quick trip out to my local TigerDirect store left me in a bit of a conundrum. They didn’t have any green LED fans. I sure as heck wasn’t putting in a red one and blue LEDs are SO blah. Then I saw it: The Kingwin 120mm Multi-Color LED Case Fan. I was suddenly struck by the most rational thought any PC pimper could have: “Why would I have just one color when I could have ALL THE COLORS!!!”. While the packaging showed the fan lit up with one color in each corner, nothing could have prepared me for the psychedelic lightshow this thing would put out upon being fed some power!

Ravetastic! Ya know, I think the 80mm fan on the top of my case is starting to make a little noise too

Homemade Rabbit Poop-Powered Flamethrower!

We’re all for reusing and repurposing over here at GUO, and if we can light up the sky doing so… Well, so much the better!

In the beginning, there was the Poop Tank. Today, there’s the flaming poopthrower. National Geographic went out to film Nick as he constructed his latest experiment in home defense. The video below covers everything from concept to explosive result.

*Warning: Video contains mild use of profanity. And crazy people.

2014 Anti-Virus Software Test Results

Being the family tech support guy, people often ask my option on which anti-virus software to use. I usually shrug, rattle off 3 or 4 options, and remind them that only suckers pay for anti-malware software. Its always a hard question to answer as your never really know if you’re A/V program of choice is working or not until the worst happens. Also, new malware is going to skip right through all A/V detection algorithms regardless of which program your using.

Fortunately, the fine folks over at AV-Test.org have been so kind as to compile their results from the past 10 months of torture testing.

AV-Test put 17 anti-malware packages, both free and paid, up against a variety of harmful computer creepy-crawlies and scored them based on detection and removal.

In the end, Malwarebytes Anti-Malware Free topped the list with 100% in system repair. The paid apps Bitdefender Internet Security 2014 came close in second with a score of 99.4%, and F-Secure Internet Security 2014 tied with Kaspersky Internet Security 2014 at 97.8%. The next best scores for free applications came from AVG AntiVirus Free 2014 and Avast! Free Antivirus 9.0.

Just to add my own anecdotal evidence to the results, we recently had a laptop here that came down with a case of digital cooties. Home page hijacks, pop-ups, the usual. In our little battle for computer health, Avast didn’t even detect the malware, AVG found but could not clean it, and Malwarebytes fixed everything.

In case you were wondering, here’s the link to Malwarebytes.

The only drawback to Malwarebytes’ free app is that it does not include real-time scanning. My personal recommendation would be to use another free virus scanner (such as AVG or Avast (I still like Avast due to how lightweight it is on system performance with very few false positives. Obnoxious, overzealous A/V software has caused me more problems than malware lately)), and do a manual scan with Malwarebytes once a month.

PSA: It’s Hot! Clean Your Computers and Household Electronics

It’s July 3rd and man, oh man, is it warm out there! So before you head out to blow stuff up tomorrow, it might be a good idea to make sure nothing is going to overheat and blow up on the ol’ home font.

That’s right folks, it’s time for the cast and crew of GUO to nag y’all about cleaning all those heat generating electronic doo-dads that power our digital lives. Get out the canned air, vacuum cleaner, tiny brushes, and, if you’re feeling adventurous, screwdrivers. Let’s evict those dust bunnies sheltering within your favorite computers, video game consoles, televisions, a/v receivers, and cable boxes. Don’t forget to wipe down that keyboard and mouse!

Afraid of working without directions? Let me Google that for you. Now you’re all out of excuses

And while were sprucing up our stuff, don’t forget about that scrungy, smudgy smartphone and tablet! While I’m of the ‘Just whack it with a Lysol/Clorox wipe’ opinion (Been doing it for years. Works great unless you use a screen protector), here’s a more by-the-book guide.

Ah, feels good to clean up, eh? You know what feels better? Moar cleaning! Do a clean sweep on your digital life! Go ahead and unsubscribe from all that spam filling up your inbox every day! Defrag your hard drive (Unless it’s an SSD. *Never* defrag SSDs). Run a full virus scan.

Alight, things look great! Now, about that microwave of yours…

Blog Template Updated to Remove Third Party Tracking

Just a quick heads-up: I did a little hack-n-slash on GUO’s template. I’ve removed all analytics and ad tracking. The result should be a kinder, gentler browsing experience.

Sadly, there are two exceptions. The first is YouTube. You kinda get stuck with it every time a YouTube video is embedded. The second is a wee bit more sinister, but no more harmless.

The page header has a callback to Google’s Ad Sense network stuck in it. No matter how many times I remove this function from the template, Google puts it back in. Welcome to life of Google’s Blogger platform! It’s not actually displaying any ads, but it is going out and grabbing The Big G’s advertising code. This means, much like the rest of the Internet, it’s probably tracking you.

As always, we encourage everyone to use ad blocking plugins, enable your browser’s do not track function, and use some kind of basic online security such as HTTPS Everywhere.

While the load time of GUO should have decreased, I know that we do run a media rich show here. Actually, it’s usually that silly Facebook button slowing us down, but whatever. Anywho, if GUO doesn’t load in an acceptable amount of time I’d encourage you to update your bookmark to use our mobile template: http://www.growingupotaku.com/?m=1

Oh, and let me know if something broke. I get chills every time I touch the blog template.

Install an Ad Blocking Browser Plugin for a Safer and Prettier Internet

The beginning of 2014 started with a whimper for many netizens as a compromised account on Yahoo’s advertising platform led to the email and messaging giant serving up malware to as many as two million users. This type of cyberterrorism has become more common that you might think. According to Cisco’s 2013 security report:

“Cisco found that online shopping sites are 21 times as likely, and search engines are 27 times as likely, to deliver malicious content than a counterfeit software site.  Viewing online advertisements? Advertisements are 182 as times likely to deliver malicious content than pornography.”

So what’s a web surfer to do? Stop searching and shopping and start pirating and wanking? Hey! HEY! Put that down! Geez, I can’t even make a joke around you people! Besides, it said MORE likely. You still need protection. Especially with a mind like that.

Advertising is the bread and butter that keeps the Internet free. Still, we all need to watch our own buttered bread first lest it become toast. There are a few options out there for filtering your daily browsing to strip ads from web pages. Personally, I’ve been using Adblock Plus on a number of browsers for quite some time and to great effect.

So, you might want to get on that now ‘cause… ya know, gobble gobble.

Also, that rather horrific Coke ad? That comes to us compliments of the “Bad Ads from the Good Ol’ Days” archive at rense.com and they’ve got some more stuff that’s just beyond belief.

You Can No Longer Use iTunes to Build Nuclear and Biological Weapons. Really.

Apple has once again updated the end user license agreement (EULA) for iTunes. According to section (g) of the new rules, you can no longer apply your vast collection of music and movies toward the goal of creating nuclear, chemical, or biological weapons. Wait… What?!

“You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missiles, or chemical or biological weapons.”

Check it out for yourself at Apple.com

I guess it’s time to cancel my subscription to War Crimes Weekly Podcast…

Down With The Magical Cloud!

Graaaagh! As a technically inclined individual, it drives me no small amount of bonkers when marketing terms start to get bandied about by folks who think they actually mean something. Usually I have Apple to blame for crap like this (‘Retina’ display!!!), but this time it is Microsoft that has done pissed me off to no end with their harping on the ‘Power of the Cloud’.

While far from the only offender of citing Clouds as a magic bullet that will change the way we work and play forever, MS’ claim of The Magical Microsoft Cloud increasing the ‘power’ (another ambiguous term that means nothing) of their upcoming Xbox One home entertainment system by 3 to 10 times is certainly the most egregious.

Without any facts or data, the media began to dream up their own ideas of what The Cloud would mean. I’ve heard improbable theories ranging from AI computations to graphical rendering being offloaded to virtual servers in MS datacenters. The truth would be far more possible and a good deal less impressive.

Titanfall was unveiled as being one the debut titles in this new age of Cloud powered gaming machines. The fact? Dedicated multiplayer servers. Yep, decades old PC gaming technology dusted off and republished under a shiny new banner of Cloud Computing.

PCmag defines what Cloud means quite elegantly as “A communications network. The word "cloud" often refers to the Internet.”. Then they totally drink the Kool-Aid and ramble off into nonsense like “However, the term "cloud computing" refers to the services that have enabled the cloud to become so prominent in everyday life.” Man, magazine writers have it easy these days…

If you can’t substitute the word Cloud for Online or Internet and have it make sense, be suspicious. Cloud storage makes sense; You’re using an online server to store files. Cloud computing is a stickier wicket, but in the modern sense refers to utilizing an online server to do work like running an application. Web apps like YouTube or Google Docs are good examples of cloud computing.

The claim that a device will “Harness the power of the cloud to make it better” is marketing FUD and is best left ignored. Or mocked.

Out of Disk Space? Visualize Your Hard Drive With WinDirStat | Tech Tips

What’s using up all my hard drive space? Data storage may be big and cheap, but it still hasn’t reached a point where we can dismiss the limits of our physical media storage quite yet. While working on a recent project, I found myself, once again, bumping up against the limits of my PC’s storage capacity. But what was taking up all those ones and zeros? I didn’t feel like my free space quite jived with what I had installed even after deleting some old programs and data.

WinDirStat, a free utility for Windows PCs, to the rescue!

WinDirStat crawls your storage devices and catalogs every folder on your computer, sorted by the amount of space it’s using. It also creates a graphical representation of your entire directory structure allowing users to easily spot what files are the biggest binary hogs.

Using WinDirStat I was able to identify at a glance storage gobbling folders that would have taken considerably longer to track down manually. 55GB of iOS apps? Time to clean the house iTunes built! Oops, guess I forgot about that 60GB I used to backup my music before it lived on a server in the cloud. I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Blu-ray rips of Blade Runner costing me 34GB. Time to die! I even uncovered 16GB worth of forgotten video from Planetside 2 in which I spent a night trying to part a tank on top of Brandon’s drop ship. It didn’t work. Do I really need a 16GB reminder of my failings? I mean, isn’t that why I have a blog?

WinDirStat is available for free at windirstat.info and works on everything from Windows 95 to Windows 7 (and, probably, Windows 8). A recommended alternative for Mac computers is Disk Inventory X or GrandPerspective while Linux users should apt-get their butts over to KDirStat.

AppWatch Keeps an Eye Out for Sales on Android Apps You Want

Skinflint iOS users have long had a private bargain shopper in the form of AppShopper (Whoops! Looks like AppShopper just got pulled. Enjoy your bonus news story ;). Now Android users can create their own personal computer monitored wish-lists with AppWatch.

Search for titles available on the U.S. Google Play store and add them to AppWatch using Google Play’s Share function. Once logged, you’ll be notified of any update or price changes to the titles selected. Not only is this a great way to watch for sales on new goodies, but keeps tabs on older apps to see when updates may add new features.

AppWatch is available for free from Google Play.

How To Create Your Own eBook from Wikipedia

To know Wikipedia is to love Wikipedia. Jimbo Wales’ non-profit Wikimedia Foundation, in conjunction with We the Internet, has provided a constantly up-to-date free encyclopedia of knowledge that far surpasses anything Britannica could have ever hoped of achieve with it’s $800+ library of paper tomes. Recently Tomasz Finc, Wikimedia’s Director of Mobile, unveiled a new way for users to take a copy of Wikipedia’s vast information store with them: The ability to create your very own books, both electronic and printed.

Getting started is easy. In the left sidebar, open the “Print/export” category and select “Create a book”. Click the big, green “Start book creator” button. Now you can search through Wikipedia and tag any articles you want to add by clicking “Add this page to your book” in the Book Creator widget at the top . When you’ve got everything, click “Show book”. Drag and drop articles to arrange them and even make chapters as you desire. Once you’re all organized, select the desired format from the “Download” section and click the button. You can even order a printed version right from the same page.

Needless to say, the applications for this function are limitless. Build your own travel guides or movie databases. Print your very own encyclopedia of WWII aircraft or collection of Renaissance artists. The vast library of Wikipedia’s knowledge is at your every whim with just a little pointy-clicky. Head on over to get started with Wikipedia’s new book creator.

This is probably a good time to remind folks that, as we mentioned, Wikipedia is a non-profit charity organization. To keep this treasure trove of information free and clean of advertising they do rely on donations. To chip in a few bucks visit Wikipedia’s donation page.

So I Dropped My Samsung Galaxy Smartphone in the Toilet...

I had the unsettling experience of dropping my Samsung Galaxy S smart phone in the toilet yesterday.  It fell out of my pocket at work and I stood there watching as it began its life as an aquarium ornament.  I pulled it out as quickly as i could hoping that the "three second rule" that so many people apply to food would apply here.

I could not shut that phone off. The touch pad didn't work. The screen kept flickering. Then it began to ring. How can you answer the phone when the touch screen won't let you swipe it?  

I took it back to my desk. After wrestling with the cover for awhile, I was able to remove it and pry the battery out. I laid the back, the battery and the phone out on a paper towel to dry.  I have a desk fan which I turned on and let it run the air over the phone while I worked.

That evening I tried a trick I had heard. I put the phone in a Ziploc bag and covered it with uncooked rice to dry it out.  Then I sealed the bag and left it overnight.   

The next morning, I took the phone out of the bag.  Some of the rice grains had swelled up and the phone had a thin coating of rice dust on it.  I  brushed the dust off and reassembled the phone and powered it on.

Voila!  The phone powered up easily and no sign of the troubles it had caused earlier!

How to Take Proper Care of Your Phone, Tablet, and Laptop’s Lithium-Ion Battery

While poking some fun at the figurative versus literal term “unplugging” in the latest GUO comic, we started thinking about proper battery maintenance. Modern lithium-ion (li-on) batteries have a few different rules to ensuring you get the most life from your portable devices. Here are some tips to keep your portable pals in tip-top shape.

Stay Frosty

Just like anything else associated with electronics, heat kills. Consistently storing your battery powered device in high temperatures lowers the potential capacity of the battery itself. Battery University states that a li-on battery stored at 60°C will lose 40% of its potential capacity after just three months. Sure, this is a pretty absurd scenario, but how many times have you left your phone in the car on a summer day?

Discharge and Recharge a Little at a Time

Li-on batteries don’t like hitting zero capacity, especially all at once. Likewise, they’re not very fond of staying charged up to 100%. Instead, attempt to perform ‘shallow’ or small discharges and recharges. Run a little while, charge a little while. Give yourself about a 20% capacity buffer zone. Try to keep your battery between 20% and 80%.

Don’t Overcharge

You should never be charging a battery that is at or near 100%. It is a common practice to charge devices overnight or work off of plugged in laptops for hours on end. This will severely degrade your battery’s capacity. Laptop owners who don’t use their machines wirelessly should get the battery to about half a charge and simply remove it. This will keep the battery in good health for when you do need it in addition to removing one more heat (and weight!) source from the machine.

Fully Discharge and Recharge Once a Month

Sometimes it’s good to break the rules. Modern li-on ‘smart’ batteries can monitor their capacitance to tell you how much more juice is left to power your device. Shallow discharges over a long period of time can cause a miscalibration leading to the battery incorrectly reporting the available up-time of your device. Running the battery all the way down to 0% (or as close as it goes before auto-shutdown) and then recharging it fully to 100% (but not over!) once a month will ensure that your battery can accurately predict its own death.

Tips and Tricks for Better Google Searches

Google. That beautiful, mostly blank page we use to ask any question that happens to pop into our heads. We all know it. Many of us use it. But do you know how to use it efficiently? GUO is proud to present a short series of tips to help you get the best results with the least number of clicks.

Sadly, many of these options are not available on the mobile version of Google. However, switching to “Classic” mode in the bottom right will display some of them (links to cached pages, sidebar search tools).

1) Separate Your Social from the Web

See those two icons in the top right? Google believed that they could better serve their users by integrating their search history and social networking (Google Plus, Gmail contact) data into search results to create a personal ‘flavor’. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Knowing you have the ability to toggle between the two should help you determine how useful it is for yourself. Click the person for a social flavored search or the globe for a true-blue Google search. You can also sign out of Google altogether by clicking on your avatar in the top right.

Amazon Instant Video Comes to iPad with a List of Problems. Here’s Fixes for a Few.

We must admit to being more than a little surprised at the message greeting us on Amazon.com's front page today. In what is undoubtedly a move to compete with the flagging Netflix streaming empire, Amazon has released their own video streaming app for iPads.

No longer tablet exclusive to the Kindle Fire, the Amazon Instant Video app is now freely available to iPad users via iTunes. The app allows Prime members access to all the streaming content they’re used to watching on their laptops, game consoles, or Roku.

Sadly, this much awaited app does not come without a list of issues. There is no iPhone counterpart to the app, leaving Instant Video the sole domain of tablet wielders. Airplay, either via direct play or mirroring, only works for audio, leaving the video on your small screen.

Worst of all, the app features no search menu. Users are left to browse through Amazon Prime’s entire streaming catalog to find the desired program. This can be made somewhat less obnoxious. First, tap the “...Movies & TV, See more>>” bar just below the top banner. Toggle between movies and TV with the switch at the top right. Finally, tap “Sort” icon in the bottom right and selecting “Title” for an alphabetical listing rather than the useless “Date Added” default. It’s no replacement for a search box, but made locating content for our daily SpongeBob fix much easier.

The eggheads over in the Growing Up Otaku tech labs encountered one additional problem with the long awaited Amazon Instant Video app: The inability to play videos using a jailbroken device. Attempting use play a video returned an error stating "“Playback is not allowed on this device.” Fortunately, said eggheads also discovered a fix! Installing the free app xCon via Cydia hides the fact  that your iPad has been sprung from the big house. Playback worked fine on jailbroken devices after xCon’s installation.

Top 5 Annoyances of Google’s Nexus 7 Tablet and How to Fix Them

The Mrs. has been gushing over Google’s new $200 7” tablet all week now. While this pint size powerhouse is truly a wonder to behold, there are a number annoyances to work around as well. Today we outline some of the device’s superficial failings and discuss how to fix ‘em.

1) My God, It’s Full of Ads – One of the first things that you're sure to notice about the Nexus 7 is the attractive, Kindle Fire-esque colorful mosaic of images that dominates the first two pages of your home screen showcasing all manner of media available for the device. The second thing you’re likely to notice is the space hogging Kindle Fire-esque display wasting the first two pages of your home screen hocking wares from Google Play in a random clutter of marketing posters.

Fortunately, these widgets are simplicity itself to remove. Tap and hold on the top of the offending widget and drag it off the top of the screen where the word “Remove” appears.

PSA: It’s Hot! Clean Your Computer!

It’s hot out there! As I write this, Google has the GUO homestead pegged at 93 degrees! You know where it’s even hotter? Inside your dusty ol’ computer. This is a great time to break out your favorite buster of dust and an ice cool can of compressed air and do a little cleaning.

Need some guidance? Lifehacker has a guide to cleaning your peripherals and desktops (spoiler alert! Unplug and stick a vacuum hose on open spots). Laptop owners not afraid of opening the case up can check out Instructable’s gude. Pro tip: Keep a coffee mug handy for all those little screws!

While you’re in the mood, Don’t forget about all your other overheating electronic buddies that could use a sprucing up. Televisions, A/V receivers and especially cable set-top boxes all generate heat and need their vents cleaned out.